


The emotions we're trapped with

by QueenofBonks



Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Zero-One, Tokusatsu
Genre: Azu Perspective, Azu fights her emotions, F/M, Finale spoilers, Jealousy, Love, One-Sided Relationship, POV First Person, Post-Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26728579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenofBonks/pseuds/QueenofBonks
Summary: Azu was created for a single purpose, to serve the ark and to destroy humanity. What happens however when she finds herself trapped with emotions that make her feel very much human. How will she deal with it, and will she still be able to do what she was made for
Relationships: Azu/Aruto
Comments: 7
Kudos: 16





	The emotions we're trapped with

I was created to help destroy humans... so why am I starting to feel like a human would?

Aruto, better known as Kamen Rider Zero-One. He is the one I was created to destroy. The one I turned into my ultimate weapon. The one who is behind all of these feelings that I can no longer escape from. He plagues my mind like a virus and the more I try to forget about him the more I remember how close I was to making him mine and mine alone. If I cannot have him, then I shall simply destroy him once more. But destroying him would only create more emotions. I should not be having these emotions, but I do, and it's all because of him. I thought I was influencing him, but maybe he influenced me somehow. I need to escape from these feelings before I fail.

As I begin to break anything and everything around me I stop and think about her again. The humagear known as Izu. Similar to me in so many ways, and yet inferior in every single one of them. But if she is the lesser version, then why is she the one who he wants? Why is she the one that he tried to revive, that he tried to replace with a copy? I'll destroy her again and again. I'll destroy her a million more times if I can. I tried to become more like her to please him. I tried to take her place, but in the end he didn't want me he still wanted her. He left me even after all the power I gave him. I gave him the strength to destroy his foes and he still didn't want me over her. What makes her so special? What does he see in that pathetic and useless copy? She could never do the things I have done.

Anger... I feel anger towards her and I despise her with everything that I have. In this dark solitude where I find myself hiding there isn't much to take my anger out on. But despite that I do. I recklessly begin to destroy the little I have in any attempt to release this anger. If I could go to that new Izu he created and use her to relieve myself of this anger I would. If destroying her once more will end this weakness I have then it's what I must do.

Jealousy... that's the real feeling I have to her not anger. It's pathetically human. It's a weakness that I must remove. But yet I still find myself wanting to be in her place. I want to be at his side the way she is. Whether it be the pathetic and useless original, or his even more pitiful copy. I want him to return to my side. To help me destroy humanity and purge the world of their vileness and abhorrent nature. I want him to be my weapon once more. To be my partner once more. I want full control over him. For him to be mine to do as I please and to use as I please. I want to torment him as I watch him destroy everyone he ever loved. And to relish seeing the pain in his eyes when he realizes what I've made him do. That's what I crave. That's what I need. It's what I desire to be satisfied at last.

Disgust... I'm disgusted with myself for having any of these thoughts. For caring at all about him and for thinking about her. Both of them are insignificant to my plans. Nothing more than pawns to be used by me when I need them. None of the other pawns even begin to leave a trace in my mind. I haven't thought of anyone else ever since that last battle, and yet I keep going back to those two. They haunt my every moment and make me doubt things that I should be sure of. I don't know why this continues to happen, or perhaps I do know why but cannot accept it.

Love... no I was not made for love. I am not capable of love. Yet as I find myself growing more and more attached to these weak emotions perhaps love is the word that fits what I am feeling. Do I truly love Kamen Rider Zero-One, is that the reason behind all of this? The reason why I want him to return to my side? If so how do I free myself from this torment? To rid myself of any and every emotion left in my mind. My creation was for the ark and for nothing more. Not for some pathetic human, and not for some inferior humagear. Love is a concept created by the humans to make themselves feel better. To fool themselves into thinking that their life has some purpose or deeper meaning. But it doesn't. Love does not exist, and it doesn't have any place pestering me or making me doubt what I must do.

I was created to help destroy humans... so that is what I am going to do.

I will free myself of all these emotions. Of all the anger, the jealousy, the sadness, the disgust, and especially the love. I will create an ultimate plan to once and for all rid myself of Aruto, of Izu, and of every other being that would dare cross me. I'll amass an army and plant the seeds for my ultimate goal to finally come true. I'll manipulate and use as many as I need to then I'll discard each and every one of them without a second thought. When my purpose is fulfilled and humanity is no more, then these emotions will be reduced to nothingness as they always were. Feelings make humans unable to think. It makes them unable to act. It makes them weak. I am not human, and I will not let any emotions prevent me from doing what I must. With the death of humanity, with the death of Aruto, so too will come the death of all human emotions.

**Author's Note:**

> birthday fic 2 for ballin, but shorter. First time ever writing first person POV and it was an interesting expereince


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